Monday 23 August 2010

18-8-10

Well it official, ive hit to wall, lost my drive, its like groundhog day, every day seems like the one before only the weather changes.
Its happened on most excersises before bar one, which was jordan. I thank Davie for that (and Charles Dellon) I really cant type the hatered for this place that im feeling, it doesnt help when ''he who shall not be named'' is being a complete tool and doing everything in his power to either divide the kitchen in 2 (RAF/ARMY) or generly not doing anything on shift, bar watch tv and sulk. He managed to get the tv confiscated because all he did was sit and watch football.
So onto another thing, the flight. This is the single most boring thing i have ever experianced, 18 or so hours stuck in a room,with only the things you bring. Sure music is good, will it last for 18 hours? do you grow tired of the music that youve probably heard many times before? Books are good but will you grow tired of looking at the letters, forming them into words and sentences picturing what they are telling you in your minds eye. Who knows, two months time i'll find out again for the 4th time, at least i'll be in the knoledge that i will never return to this hole and if i have too, it will not be for a very long long time indeed.

So the week was well.... the same as any other week with the added difference of well nothing worth mentioning.
I changed my room round that was the high point of it all,
not even the lows of bone shattering bass bring much enjoyment any more.

The only good thing about this place is that you can think, alot, but thinking about that now is it such a good thing?[see, this is what im talking about, im begining to babble about nothing in particular to fill the void ]
So with the thinking, i dont want this job any more there are other things i feel i would bo better.
Im good with computers, always learning new things but have no formal qualifications to show what i can do, so as much as it pains to say there out of the window till i can prove my work.

Diving, yes i know that diving jobs are few and far between in the army but i though i'de trow it in the mix because i really do enjoy it.

Dog handler, strange i know, this on bit me in the ass when i was here, dont need any qualifications for this one, i like dogs and i think i would really enjoy the job.

The final option literaly will be the last straw, where i have no other choice and have to do something. I cant just come out of the army as i am now and get a job in civvy street, yeah im a good chef but i want to stear away from it for a while, i enjoy it but i need a break. So i come out, and have a couple of options, computing/diving. I really do suck info up about computers and grasp what im doing fast, there averywhere aswell so it wouldnt be too hard to get re-employed when ive done the propper training.
Diving, there are tons of places that do dive training round the world, ranging from 5 weeks to 6 months train time. There are also a number of avenues that i can go down, Instructor, Marine Biology, Marine conservation. Under water wood welder[UWWW], dolfin trainer.
So, even though i've thought of all these wonderfull things i'd like to do i'm still undecided. I still think that the econamic climate is unsettled and employers are still being carefull, too carefull if you ask me.
I know what ever i put my mind too i will achive it, i told someone once that i really wanted to go diving and they said it was just a pipe dream that i would never achive, well i fucking showed you didnt i. Went and dived the Zenobia init blad.

So i think i best draw to an end as im sure youve had enough. I feel better for writing this, the wall feels one less step away now. But it has been hit i will not deny that, i sometimes wonder what i'll think when i read this in a years time, problably be like ''jeeze i moaned like a bitch, why did people read this''

3.2

Song - Massive Attack vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Teardrops Under The Bridge

Mood - Fuck this, i want to be a pirate. ahhhhhhrrrrrrrr!

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